Tag: mental health

AnaMia

She burnt away, rotting from within
Until all that was left was ceramic skin
Perfectly painted with only one crack
Just below the knee, a hole of deep black
The only blemish on a porcelain doll,
Showing inside she was nothing at all
But empty and hollow, full of dead space
A vacuous vacuum with a manufactured face
No love in her heart, nothing in her head
AnaMia’s glassy eyes already felt dead
But she still smiled a fixed, painted grin
Because now that doll was finally thin.


Via Daily Prompt: Thin

Restless

I have a concrete body

And a restless soul,

A rib-caged heart

And lungs of coal.

 

The tide changes

In my bloodstream.

Ruffled heart feathers

Screaming run, change, move.

.

Via Daily Prompt: Tide

Circular

There’s something in the way you move that reminds me of him. It flickers across your face and changes you. Momentarily. And then you are back.

I wonder if it’s co-incidence or if my masochistic subconscious latched on to it as we fell in love. Worse still, I wonder if you picked it up from me. If I’ve been unwittingly carrying him in the way I hold myself.

It scares me sometimes in a way I struggle to explain. I have to remind myself that bad people have good traits too. And that some bad traits wore the masks of good ones and I shouldn’t hold the good ones responsible for that.

But it’s hard.

When you say, How was your day? What did you get up to? I hear, You better have a good excuse for not being here today. And you better not leave again any time soon.

Abuse can wear the face of concern. And now both of them give me chills.

Shit: An ode to Anxiety

There are so many people
Everything feels out of time
It messes with my thoughts
And messes up my rhyming…

Shit. That’s not quite right
I know I can do better
Words scramble in my brain
I can’t settle on a…

Shit. What that word?
For one alphabetical member
I’d communicate my meaning
If only I could… not forget?

Shit. They’ve all leaked
From my brain into my chest
There’s no space for air
I need a place to… sit?

Shit. That’s not it.
Is this some kind of test?
The walk home, alone
Gives my brain a rest.

In the cold air of December
I start to feel much better
Do you think they will remember,
When I misplaced a letter?

When I lost my rhyme?
Do you think they will forget it?
Or will they understand
That I just felt too… well,… shit?

 

via Daily Prompt: Rhyme

Dementia

When I wake up I’m 50 and my kids are all at Uni. My parents are dead, I know this. My wife looks different… older. She tells me I’m 73 and my memory’s going. She must be right, my mind feels foggy.

When I wake up I’m 40 and my kids are teenagers, but they don’t look it. They look about my age. And they’ve got kids of their own. They look at me expectantly, but I don’t know them.

When I wake up I’m 25 and I should be at work. I keep trying to go, but they won’t let me.

When I wake up I’m 13 and I ask for my parents. I ask. Nobody answers.

When I wake up I’m 7 and I don’t know where I am.

via Daily Prompt: Foggy